When i was growing up there was a lot of judgment on sex, and especially a girl liking a lot of sex. I was that girl and i didn’t think there was anything wrong with exploring sex.
There was shame & limiting beliefs on what is considered ‘right’ sexual behavior (ok there still is…)
We keep everything in our shadow and hide our sexual preferences where it can die and shrink into nothing or where it turns into a demon one day or another.
As a very young girl I played with myself and I played doctor with my neighbour girls.
From when I was 13 I played with many boys and boyfriends.
With my first boyfriend, we lived in bed being intimate as much as possible.
Until i was 37 I had several boyfriends, i tried free relationships, swinging, being faithful, made love, had sex, broke up, stayed too long.
Then for almost 8 years I was without a partner, started practicing tantra and real meditation, exploring with some practice partners, short relationships but also being in solitude for long periods of time, periods of not feeling sexual and periods of exploring with myself, and exploring energy, breath, meditation, healing.
Since I discovered shibari bondage 7 years ago I have looked around in the world of BDSM and a combination of tantra and kink – conscious kink.
My sexual energy is still very high in my life, I love going in ecstasy, my body is buzzing a lot and i love it, feeling so alive, and also I love being in meditation or physical exercise. But most of all what i love at this moment is the openness of my heart and my vulnerability. It comes with a lot of courage and fears.
Still I am not done exploring, it’s my study for life.
Our freedom in sexuality and especially our capacity to love (however scary it is) is our freedom to be or become who we are.
All preferences, all sexes, any gender a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g goes
Everything is ok in mutual consent.
It’s about what makes our hearts jump & about making loving connections.
It is about taking our own responsibility, if we don’t force or disrespect, ourself and others, everything is allowed
So much freedom to explore!