My life has been like a twilight zone, a world I was taught was real and my own world and reality but not knowing how to live and express it.
I did not learn how to feel myself, or how to go my own way, I was taught to control and plan my life.
The past years my intention was ‘to get out of my own way’ and by that I meant, the me I was taught was me.
I had to become so quiet I could finally really hear my own voice and feel myself.
And suddenly all the pieces start to fall into place. Everything I have done so far in life falls into the puzzle.
I have always been into spiritual practice and looking for who I really am, in relation to others and the world.
And so I searched and searched, lived a thousand lifetimes, different careers, workshops, travelled the world, did a lot of dancing and martial arts and disciplining the body, exploring sexuality and relationships, so many friendships and groups I was and am part of.
And many times I was part of it, but at the same time I felt very lost.
I had searched everywhere but I really did not have a clue, I was in deep pain emotionally. My personality or ego shield was crumbling.
I numbed myself. And all the time all I was really looking for was myself.
Luckily I have a couple of life time friends (and they only multiply) that have always seen the real me and always uplifted my spirit by expressing their trust and love for me (thank you for that)
Lately I can really feel me. And I feel I want to share so much more of me with the world.
My work and life now is really an expression of everything I have learned along the way.
In this world we all have names for what we do, workshop facilitator, business manager, whatever.
And I feel non of them and I feel part of it all, like a domino.
So I call myself a mother, a lover, a facilitator, a friend, a world citizen, a dancer, a flower, just me. Finally me!