Today I want to honor my father and all men.
Today one year ago I saw my father for the last time on his birthday, 2 weeks later he died.
I felt a relieve for him, no more suffering, and also i felt a relieve for myself.
I never liked my father, he was hard and verbally fucked my brain and self confidence when i was young.
Very touching in the last years he became more soft.
But his earlier behavior made me look down on men in general.
I thought men were the inferior kind of humans and felt arrogant and hard towards men.
(Probably this also has to do with the long history and lineage of patriarchy in which men ruled the world).
Luckily I grew up with a very nice brother who changed my view on men just a little.
Also I always attracted nice and good hearted lovers and boyfriends.
But I could not see the real value men bring.
How I perceived men really only changed when I started my tantric path and became soft myself.
Now I can see the beautiful energy men bring, the grounding, the care taker, the spaceholder, the rock, how they try hard to understand women, the simplicity.
The death of my father created space in myself for my own inner soft masculine to rise.