Our past will always affect the way we are today.
Especially in intimate relationships our past will influence the way we show ourselves.

What limits us many of the time relates back to when we were younger and got hurt or felt we were not seen.

We are protecting our old wounds and we are trying not to get hurt again.
We have adapted a way of dealing with the past and in our current life often still use this to make sure we protect ourselves.

In current relationships we use these defense meganisms, and often we are unaware of them.
We unawarely tell ourselves that these defenses keep us protected from being hurt again.
The opposite is true.

If we can allow our emotions to come back and if we allow ourselves to feel our pain or anger or insecurity in the moment, we allow ourselves to heal.

By healing we can start changing our old defense meganism.
And by healing we do not need to protect ourselves from being hurt again.
And if we heal, our hearts slowly start opening back up.
We can start trusting again.