Surrender to life

It is now 7 years ago since I surrendered myself to whatever wants to unfold in my life. I was struggling with a lot, did work that was not me and I did not know how to get out. So I started asking show me why am I here, how can I be of service to this world.

The only thing I knew, I wanted to create more freedom and love in this world and I wanted to step out of the world I was taught was real but was not me. And during these past years I died, cried, have felt all of my emotions, all of my insecurities, caught myself trying to control whatever wanted to unfold, wanted to express myself but was so scared, but realized that by opening myself I started giving and receiving so much more love.

First shibari came by, I was very confused why shibari, something that was still so ‘hidden’, I really had to expose myself. But it was instant love and it took me into a path I had no idea which way I would go.
Now I know it taught me how to be vulnerable, how to feel again and how to surrender to life itself.

My life evolved into facilitating and assisting workshops that free up our mind and body, our conditioning, kink, shibari, or tantra. I have assisted in many workshops and learned so much, thank you for that especially Ruby May
Also so grateful for my dear friend Eveline for creating so many workshops with me and for Johan for our workshops together.

I started doing private sessions with couples who share with me their deepest and darkest shadows and longings.
I work with individuals exploring themselves and learning to love themselves.
A lot of trauma lays in everybody and in opening myself to whatever wants to unfold I find myself transforming my own and other people’s trauma.

And every time I am in a session or when I am in a workshop space my heart is jumping up and down and I feel I really have to do this.
Every time I see somebody sink into their body, open up, lighting up, go wild and feel uncontrollable pleasure or really love themselves and each other, I know why I do this. Every time is so special. Every time is so humble.
And also sometimes it is not there, maybe not the right time and then nothing happens, or resistance comes up, but that is part of it too.
It is opening up over and over again, opening in vulnerability in order to be really present.

The past year I had the opportunity to sink into whatever wants to unfold even more (..thx baby)
I needed to become really quiet to hear my own voice.
So many ideas were running through me, and I told myself I had to just go for it, face my fears, work harder, push further (demons from my past)
And sometimes that is just not what you need.
Sometimes yes, but sometimes really no. Sometimes you just have to wait and be very quiet.
I needed to slow down and take it step by step and really let everything bubble up from deep within.
I had to learn to listen to my own voice and really hear what she has to say and still sometimes it gets blurry with so much going on around us, but that’s ok as well

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