After years of practicing shibari I wonder what it is that keeps me so in love with this way of expressing and connecting.
Every time it is different and every time it touches me so deeply.
It brings me to a place inside myself where I feel calm, playful, vulnerable and powerful.
It is an experience of surrender for the person who is being tied , but also for me it feels like i surrender to something bigger than me. All my senses wake up, i can feel myself and the other deeply, the world around me fades away and i feel connected to everything.
What feels key to surrendering to the expression of myself is to open myself to whatever wants to unfold. No control but just let it happen, with open heart, open mind and open body.
This is something I have been learning over the years, to become vulnerable and to surrender because I used to be closed down in so many ways. Old patterns, my old hiding and defense meganisms, they are not working anymore. They were just a way to not trust life enough and wanting control over it.
And so I practice surrendering to life itself.
Totally opening up to whatever wants to unfold comes with unblocking everything inside.
I have become aware of the resistance inside me, I practice being totally present with everything I do, and I face all my fears from a space of love and playfulness.
It all becomes more clear how to do this, I am learning it along the way. How to surrender to everything, other people, life, to my emotions, my fears and so my shadow becomes integrated inside me.