Shibari

My love for Shibari or Kinbaku

7 years ago a friend asked me to take her place in a shibari workshop. My daughter (7 then) could stay with her and I went with her man to the workshop.

It was instant love. Everything felt good, the rope, the smell, the playfulness, the sensuality, the ritthem, the relaxation, the leading and surrender… It was sensual and exciting and at the same time it had nothing to do with sex.

From that moment I have learned from several teachers, like Butterfly bondage, Peter Slamrian, Otonawa, Asiana, Andy Baru, Gorgone, Yoroi Nicolas.
Also that time I discovered conscious kink, from teachers like Ruby May and Barbara Caralles.

I started giving lessons and sessions, I was asked in the tantra groups I was active in to give lessons and I went on practice dates. I did not feel like an expert, but I did feel I had something to give with this. From the beginning it was my own style, playfulness combined with deep and loving connection into surrender.

In het beginning it was a stretch to show myself in public. There was a big taboo on something like bondage. It is ‘BDSM and hard’ was the verdict. In certain circles it was accepted and became more accepted the last years, but to promote myself openly on linkedin to tell I lovingly tie people up, was quite a bridge too far. Shortly before I worked in business and this is not well accepted there, only in secret…

For me Kinbaku or Shibari is a beautiful connective art form, always different and always special to give and receive.
The connection you make with each other is every time special, with different layers and elements. Sometimes playful and erotic, sometimes deep and relaxing, other times it is really a play of surrender and leading.

For the one being tied, the model or bunny, it is about surrender, out of your head, feeling yourself and at the same time stay connected. It is about letting go of control and opening yourself to whatever wants to unfold. We are not used to let go of control and so you can go through deep layers inside yourself. Letting go of control can be liberating and scary at the same time.

For the rigger or top, it is about taking the lead, taking care of, being present, stay in contact and at the same time step out of your head and let go. This can be a challenge with our need to do good and plan all our steps.

Shibari originated in Japan from the martial art Hojo-jutsu, de art of tying prisoners. Since last century it is used as an art form, for arousal, for deep connection, as a means to inflict pain. It is very personal and different for everybody what it brings. 
To me it taught me to surrender, to life. It taught me to let go of control and let myself be led by my heart and not by what society or upbringing.

I love to share my experience with this beautiful connective art form with others. In het pages workshops and sessions you can find more information on that.