Our past will always affect the way we are today.
Especially in intimate relationships our past will influence the way we show ourselves.
What limits us many of the time relates back to when we were younger and got hurt or felt we were not seen.
We are protecting our old wounds and we are trying not to get hurt again.
We have adapted a way of dealing with the past and in our current life often still use this to make sure we protect ourselves.
In current relationships we use these defense meganisms, and often we are unaware of them.
We unawarely tell ourselves that these defenses keep us protected from being hurt again.
The opposite is true.
If we can allow our emotions to come back and if we allow ourselves to feel our pain or anger or insecurity in the moment, we allow ourselves to heal.
By healing we can start changing our old defense meganism.
And by healing we do not need to protect ourselves from being hurt again.
And if we heal, our hearts slowly start opening back up.
We can start trusting again.
Last night I woke up and suddenly realised I have been afraid all my life.
Afraid to show myself completely in all my colours (especially in groups).
What I bring to this world is light fun spaces where we can bring exactly what we feel and who we are, do what makes our heart jump, feel free in our bodies and from that space to connect with ourselves and others.
Free in our bodies can come in many forms, dancing and movement, touch, sexual expansion, meditation, soulful eating, anything that makes us connect deeper to ourselves.
All the close friends and loving people who totally see me, who allow me to make mistakes, who give me honest feedback and who always remind me of who I truly am, I can now see what you say, thank you for reminding me and being there for me.
I can now also see that I repeat wanting approval from the ones that will never approve of me. Thank you also!