In my work I touch people or I guide couples to touch each other in new ways.
What I notice is that we haven’t really learned about the possibilities of touch.
Often, we just “do what we do” and aren’t really conscious of exactly what we are doing. What impact does each touch have?
In the beginning of a relationship, this still works because we are full of passion for each other. But later in the relationship, this does not work anymore.
The “autopilot” kicks in, and we often repeat the same things.
Being consciously present with what you are doing is a first step toward a fulfilling intimate life.
Getting to know each other in new ways and learning to touch each other in new ways. What if I do this to you, what if I touch you like this, do you like it?
Being curious (and continuing to stay curious) towards eachother.
This goes hand in hand with learning to express what we feel, what we like, what our desires are, what we don’t like so much.
In feeling and expressing this, we create real connection.
Connection to yourself, connection to each other.
Here I don’t mean ever-lasting conversations, just talk no action.
Perhaps this is the most important ingredient for a flowing intimate life.
Being present with whatever arises in the moment and then let it move into another moment.
Not staying stuck in a (porn) fantasy in your head, or a trigger that comes up, but feeling the sensations in your body, the scary emotions, and staying in contact with each other about them.
This can be an euphoric experience, an orgasm, but it’s also raw; uncertainty, fear of abandonment, wanting to do it right, not daring to speak up, a whole range of feelings arises when you start to connect.
True connection leads to feeling more. And that can be a bit scary at times.
The reward is more playfulness and fun, deepening the love for each other.
An intimate life full of flow, who wouldn’t want that?
What I notice is that we haven’t really learned about the possibilities of touch.
Often, we just “do what we do” and aren’t really conscious of exactly what we are doing. What impact does each touch have?
In the beginning of a relationship, this still works because we are full of passion for each other. But later in the relationship, this does not work anymore.
The “autopilot” kicks in, and we often repeat the same things.
Being consciously present with what you are doing is a first step toward a fulfilling intimate life.
Getting to know each other in new ways and learning to touch each other in new ways. What if I do this to you, what if I touch you like this, do you like it?
Being curious (and continuing to stay curious) towards eachother.
This goes hand in hand with learning to express what we feel, what we like, what our desires are, what we don’t like so much.
In feeling and expressing this, we create real connection.
Connection to yourself, connection to each other.
Here I don’t mean ever-lasting conversations, just talk no action.
Perhaps this is the most important ingredient for a flowing intimate life.
Being present with whatever arises in the moment and then let it move into another moment.
Not staying stuck in a (porn) fantasy in your head, or a trigger that comes up, but feeling the sensations in your body, the scary emotions, and staying in contact with each other about them.
This can be an euphoric experience, an orgasm, but it’s also raw; uncertainty, fear of abandonment, wanting to do it right, not daring to speak up, a whole range of feelings arises when you start to connect.
True connection leads to feeling more. And that can be a bit scary at times.
The reward is more playfulness and fun, deepening the love for each other.
An intimate life full of flow, who wouldn’t want that?
