{"id":3885,"date":"2023-06-03T19:55:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-03T19:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/?p=3885"},"modified":"2025-02-28T20:07:20","modified_gmt":"2025-02-28T20:07:20","slug":"to-all-lovers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/blog\/2023\/06\/03\/to-all-lovers\/","title":{"rendered":"To all lovers&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"3885\" class=\"elementor elementor-3885\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-521d6de elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"521d6de\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3d14fc1\" data-id=\"3d14fc1\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5c8cb85 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5c8cb85\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Do you recognize this\u2026?<\/p><p>When you first meet, everything happens naturally when making love.<br \/>The spark, the right scent, the right touch&#8230;<br \/>But after a while, this changes.<\/p><p>We still like each other very much, but intimacy becomes boring, we repeat, one doesn&#8217;t touch properly, the other closes down.<br \/>Suddenly, it feels like a task to be intimate with your partner.<br \/>Our rose-colored glasses make way for a mirror, and if you don\u2019t look into this mirror, intimacy often fades, until it dies, until we look for someone else, or make jokes that being married means being sex-less.<\/p><p>This is a pity ofcourse.<br \/>Cause how wonderful is it to touch, to be touched, to feel, to flirt, to make love?<br \/>How can you keep this alive in a positive way?<br \/><br \/><\/p><p>The world of intimacy as we know it is often based on performance; we have to perform, and the reward is an orgasm.<br \/>The pressure on the man is to satisfy the woman as often as possible, and the pressure on the woman is to be beautiful and shiny (for convenience I\u2019m only referring to men\/women, but there\u2019s also performance pressure in gay couples of course).<br \/>What an incredible amount of pressure!<\/p><p>We\u2019ve also learned to suppress uncomfortable feelings like shame, guilt, fear, and insecurity.<br \/>We don\u2019t want to feel these, and also in connection with others, we often push them away.<br \/>\u201cI\u2019d better not say this or I\u2019ll spoil the moment,\u201d I often hear.<br \/>My response to that is: if you\u2019re thinking that, the moment is already gone. You can no longer truly be present in what you&#8217;re doing.<br \/>And this is exactly what gets in the way of the flow of intimacy and connection if we don\u2019t do something about it.<\/p><p>True connection arises when we let go of our protective layer and dare to be vulnerable and open with each other.<br \/>Vulnerable and open about how we really feel inside. <br \/>Your insecurity, your desires, your fears, your discomforts.<br \/>True connection happens when everything in us can participate.<br \/>Then you can experiment, discover, and explore.<br \/>Then you don\u2019t have to get it perfect and can figure out together how it feels right.<br \/>Then you can feel more and more and just be with everything that arises in the moment.<br \/>Then you can play together without a goal, not focused on an expectation or an end result.<br \/>Then the flow of sexual and loving energy between you can start to flow again.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3c323dd elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"3c323dd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"85\" height=\"27\" src=\"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/handtekening.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-image-1137\" alt=\"\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2c99eeb\" data-id=\"2c99eeb\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-47c0835 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"47c0835\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"720\" height=\"708\" src=\"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/differenceperformance_pleasure.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-3889\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/differenceperformance_pleasure.jpg 720w, https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/differenceperformance_pleasure-300x295.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you recognize this\u2026? When you first meet, everything happens naturally when making love.The spark, the right scent, the right touch&#8230;But after a while, this changes. We still like each other very much, but intimacy becomes boring, we repeat, one doesn&#8217;t touch properly, the other closes down.Suddenly, it feels like a task to be intimate [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3889,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3885"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3885"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3885\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3893,"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3885\/revisions\/3893"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.naturalbliss.nl\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}